White House Advisors Say “Atlanta Crackheads Are More Dangerous Than Isis”


“These are not your typical fiends that steal microwaves or TVs. Atlanta Crackheads are like the X-Men, they’ve evolved! They’re far more advanced and we aren’t sure of what they’re capable of.”

    Recently a portion of a major highway (85) in Atlanta collapsed after three drug users decided to have a “Night out on the town.” As of now they’re not saying exactly what they did to bring down an entire bridge but experts are confident the truth will reveal itself. The number 1 suspect, Basil Eleby has been arrested 19 times since 1995 is believed to be the leader of the group. Similar to a Quarterback in the NFL he calls all of the shots. Basil admitted to discussing smoking before the bridge collapsed but officials aren’t sure if it was before, during, or both. 

  White House advisers have also caught wind of the recent “Crackish” behavior in Atlanta. They have said that these local criminals could be more dangerous than foreign criminals. “If three of them can take out a bridge imagine if they unite and become an organized group. All for one and one Rock for all. It could be catastrophic” The Governor Nathan Deal has declared a State of Emergency.

“One thing led to another and a bridge fell. I’m not saying we did it…. But we did it. This could have happened to anyone.”